So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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