What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Can I color on your dick again?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
