R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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