so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
