I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
