We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
