I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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