so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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