How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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