bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Randomize
