yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize