you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
