my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
porn star boner night. come get it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
