i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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