AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
