i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Vodka?
Forever.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
