I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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