my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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