You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
