remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
