I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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