is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Please, let me fuck your mom
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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