It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
