Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
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Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
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when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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