So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
