I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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