I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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