i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
