I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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