Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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