smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
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I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
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Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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