sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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