well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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