I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Why is your signature on my underwear?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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