the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
please come you make the beer taste better
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
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Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
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My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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