it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
