Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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