1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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