you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
