ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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