At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
