3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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