I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
