At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
