If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
