We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
