I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
