My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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