It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
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I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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