I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
