in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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