I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
