Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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