Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
