i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
