No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
