If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
