I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
